Even more stressful is losing words mid-sentence. Not big words. Simple ones. Standing in my kitchen holding up the thing you use to flip pancakes, saying "can you hand me the... the... flippy thing" to my actual teenager, who now looks at me the way I used to look at my grandmother.
Rage-crying. Not sad-crying. Rage-crying, at a commercial, about nothing, while also being furious that I was crying about nothing. A full emotional platter I did not order.
And underneath the jokes, if I'm honest: it's disorienting. You spend your whole life learning your body's rules, and then one day the rules change and nobody sends the memo. You just find out the hard way, in public, usually while wearing a coat you can't take off.
I tried to power through it the way I power through everything. Turns out "just deal with it" is not a treatment plan.
What actually helped was getting real treatment, not just Google-diagnosing myself at 1am between rink drop-offs. I get mine through Felix, and it's genuinely gotten my hormones back to the negotiating table.
What helped me? What actually helped was getting real treatment, not just Google-diagnosing myself at 1am between rink drop-offs. For me that's progesterone and estrogen patches seems to be helping Nathan keep at bay, and feeling somewhat normal on most days.
I still see my physician, he's amazing, and Felix hasn't replaced him. But when you don't have time to sit in a waiting room between practices and games, the convenience is a game changer. They actually talk to you and explain everything, not just hand you a prescription and send you on your way. When my days feel like a constant string of changes I didn't sign up for, having that kind of help a click away has done a lot for my sanity and my peace. Plus, my doctor doesn't need to see me ugly cry because my words are escaping me.
If you want to check it out, here's my link:
Felix For You!
Some mornings I still stand in front of the fridge with the door open, not for food, just for the cold air on my face. Nobody warned me about that either.
